Just a Life Story

Writing almost feels foreign to me  having spent so much time apart from it. As many of you know I have spent the latter part of my year working a part time and designing. I made the decision a few months ago to go back to school The irony of the situation is that if you have read my blog thus far you will know that I have very strong reservations about college and it's ability to add value to my life. Strangely enough it provided me with an opportunity to get out of retail and double my pay check.

In August I went through the worse stage of depression I have ever encountered in my life. I was irrational. Crying all the time. Fighting all the time. Doubtful about my decisions and had extreme low self esteem. It was such a new experience for me that I thought I had truly gone mad. There were days my parents crept around me with apprehension. Afraid to set me off. Each day a sense of guilt permeated through me. The feelings of insufficiency suffocated me.

I started looking into medical reasons for my behavior. Depression and bipolar disease would frequently pop up. At that point I had thought maybe it was time I checked myself into a clinic and get some professional help. Maybe I was just one of those people. So I went to sleep that night with little to no hope. The next day I woke to a bright sunny summer day. Birds chirping outside my window singing sweet melodies of happiness. Inside I felt nothing. Like an emotionless zombie my body moved out of bed and into the bathroom.

It was then I looked into the mirror and saw myself. I mean really saw myself. My eyes were a bright brown lit with a fire that refused to go out.The image that reflected in front of me was not how I felt. I saw someone beautiful, someone with potential, someone who embodied everything I wanted to be emotionally.  I got dressed and headed out that morning with only one thing in mind: I am Shirley T.

Several months later I have accomplished much. With a small salary I was able to get out of credit debt, acquire my dream job, perpetuate the success of my business, and still maintain balance of every element of my life. Though this story in itself is a cliche, it's hard not to tell a happy story that doesn't end with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

The story of our lives is this: you are not your situation. You are you. Depression is not a part of you it is only a situation that you will cross paths with. Financial burden is only a situation you will cross paths with. Heartache is only a situation you will cross paths with. These negative situations do not define you...you give it definition. Our lives are all tales written to our specifications. To acknowledge that our past has no power over our future is essentially what empowers us individually.

Enjoy
xxx