Just Breathe

It really is unfortunate when you meet someone you really like and they just disappear. I'm sure many of us have had that one person that entered our lives, and suddenly left without a word. A friend of mine expressed this to me the other night and I empathised with her. I'm no stranger to the Mystery Man. The Mystery Man is that person that piques our interest yet we have no initial intention of getting to know him. But then, he suddenly expresses an interest in us a surprising fashion. Intrigued we probe for information about his life to which he almost always responds with witty lines filled with mystique. What could be more fascinating than magic? A man who delivers vague lines. Of course in the beginning he'll call consistently and somewhere along the line he manages to hook us with a kiss followed by some corny line that make us think of a future with him. That blasted kiss has fulfilled it's duty in making us crazy in like. Fast forward to the present. Now we haven't heard a word from him. Hard to believe but Mr. Mystery has moved on and oh yeah...he forgot to let us know.

Perhaps we should blame ourselves for being so naive and vulnerable to a person we hardly know. But this is something I feel people (especially people pleasers like me) do much to often. The feelings of having failed at doing all we could to appease that person is what really kills us inside. It is in our nature to naturally attract, and satisfy the people in our lives. And when that doesn't work it leaves us confused, hurt, and obsessed with finding the reason why.

I propose we take a moment to really assess whether or not this person was even worthy of receiving anything from us to begin with. A person unwilling to divulge information wreaks of suspicion. Mystery Man could very well just be a jerk. But I'd like to think he is most likely holding onto baggage which is hindering him from opening up to anyone. In reality Mystery Man hides his issues behind his success in the form of dashing attire, great educational credentials, high paying jobs, endless partying, and a barrage of sexual conquests. For the most part these things may just be innocent fun, but in other cases they could be tell tale signs that he cannot face his own inner demons. He has no sense of who he really is so when he enters our lives, we are completely oblivious of what we are getting into.

It's not your fault you were just being you. To blame yourself for not being able to solve that other person's problem is truly self defeating. It is a battle that cannot be won. Maybe one day Mystery Man will unleash his Pandora's box to someone, and who knows, it may be to you (that would be very interesting to say the least)...but until then start to accept that whatever the problem is, most likely has nothing to do with you. Allow that burden to rest entirely on his shoulders. Start to breathe and sleep easier knowing that he is one less person you have to take care of.