A heart that still belongs to your ex is a heart trapped inside a prison. Why is it so immensely hard to overcome the end of a relationship? Maybe it's because that person was the best thing to have entered our lives. Maybe it's because that person brought such great joy to our lives. Maybe it's because the idea of letting something perfectly good escape our company sounds absolutely insane. But never the less, holding onto a past relationship does no good for anyone, especially not for you.
I've come to realize that more than our careers, education, or money, relationships are a priority in our lives. They create friendships, partnerships, sisterhoods, brotherhoods, mentors, families, and lovers. Yes, it is clear that the one relationship that has the most significant impact in our lives are the romantic relationships. But unfortunately this is the most unstable relationship out of all the relationships in our lives. Romantic relationships are the ones we want to talk about all the time, but very rarely openly discuss. Although some (especially women) walk around with their hearts on their sleeves, others (like men) walk around almost ashamed to discuss it. We create this empty prison constructed of disappointment, crushed egos, unmet expectations, hurt, and longing. That prison waits there ready for your heart just in case a relationship ever fails, and when that happens your heart stays there until it can finally build up the courage to break free.
Three Reason's it's so Hard to Get Over Someone:
1. The Happy Feelings They Gave Us: There's no denying the utter joy they bring to our lives every single moment we're in their presence. Once they leave, they take that happiness with them. It's hard to recreate a happiness which is dependent on another person
2. He's Always Around: He's always there in some form, but the one place that he cannot seem to leave is in our minds. Obviously it is really hard to escape from someone whose always in your thoughts
3.The need for Closure: ending a relationship with absolutely no excuse is the most vexing situation. Majority time when our relationships end we don't get this. For an individual who demands answers to questions, this is torturous.
Getting over an ex is most definitely not an easy feat. But it's only as hard as we make it. We complicate the issue using too many excuses to remain in love (or in like) with that person. So here's the thing, knowing that romance is so important what we want to do is give extreme attention to maintaining the strongest relationship with the best possible person. But if we have given all we could into that past relationship and our exes decide they no longer want to be with us, than maybe we should reevaluate if that is the type of person we should divide our attention to. Think of it this way, if you are an extraordinary person, than by definition you should be with an extraordinary person...nothing less. In most cases, your ex was the man/woman that wasn't quite extraordinary but was able to pass your threshold therefore you invited them into your life with high expectations. Sorry to break your heart but an ordinary person can only do ordinary things. So if you're looking to take the steps towards moving forward, part of getting over someone will first involve us accepting that maybe it wasn't meant to be...at least not with that person.
I discuss this an much more topics in my upcoming book "Johnny Took My Heart: The Heartless Woman's Guide to Getting Over Him" which will be available soon. Keep an eye out.
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