Nice Guys Don't Finish Last. Wimps Do.

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All too often I’ve heard this phrase yet bit my tongue unable to properly articulate why this statement is false. I have watched as movies depicted these modern day Romeos getting stomped on by the girl chasing after the bad boys. I have watched as reality played out the Hollywood version of “nice guys finish last” starring the man who is always a friend never a mate. In "He's Just Not That Into You" I was especially ashamed to watch the nice guy get used and manipulated by the woman of his dreams. It broke my heart to see the emotional pain and turmoil inflicted on these men in the pursuit of happily ever after, whose vision got savagely shred to pieces by some random woman’s shameless nonchalant behavior. Yet through all that I can honestly say that maybe these men deserve every bit of misery.

Nice guys do not finish last, wimps do. Yes, I said it and I’ll say it a thousand times until the message sinks in. There are men out there bitter and weary of women because they claim such women do not respond to their endearing gestures. These self proclaimed “nice guys” are also the same men chasing after women based purely on superficiality, curiosity and desire for challenge. Majority of the time men will see a woman with all the right weaponry: beautiful smile, great body, smells good (so on and so forth) and from that initiate a lengthy valiant chase. But here’s is where the “nice guy” goes wrong. He showers this virtual stranger with attention, affection, and gifts anxiously hoping to win her praise. But when these women are unresponsive the “nice guy” continues to give, give, give in the hope she will one day recognize how great he is.

My question is why is he doing this? What do these men even know about these girls besides their incredible looks and credentials? It’s no coincidence that these self proclaimed nice guys know only as much about these women as Facebook does. Yet they have convinced themselves that this woman is worthy of their precious time and hard earned money?! Who are they fooling? These women look at these men and come to several conclusions:

• They must be thinking with their penis
• They don’t value their money
• They have no sense of integrity
• They don’t know their self worth

These attributes don’t attract women, they disgust them. I often times hear stories from my girlfriends about how men give them whatever they want without having to do a thing which is almost always followed by the remark “how pathetic” which regretfully are my exact sentiments. It seems ironic that men chide women who give of themselves too easily and freely yet don’t winced at the thought of giving their time or money away to someone they barely know. Even with the roles reversed the results still remain the same: giving yourself away too easily will earn you no respect.

Side bar: women also tend to shy away from men like this because their actions are classic early warning signs of a future stalker.

To the supposed nice guys out there read carefully: In your mind you may believe you’re being sincere & caring but in her mind you’re being needy, clingy and insecure. You are not helping to boost her ego by telling her how amazing she is every second of everyday (trust me she already knows) or how she’s the best person you’ve ever dated. In fact she only feels burdened by the fact you depend on her for happiness and believes she can do better. Furthermore take a very thorough look at the women you are attracted to. There is often a pattern in the type of women “nice guys” pursue which commonly goes unrealized. Instead of recognizing this pattern they continue to be bewildered the same women consequently finding solace in complaint and blame.  Why chase after a woman with problems as opposed to one who has her head on straight? If the history with women has not been bright the common denominator is him not her. He is attracting the manipulative users!

The bottom line is being a nice guy does not translate to being an imbecilic pushover. Refrain from using niceness as a rouse to mask possible underlying insecurities. A nice guy is a confident gentleman and gentleman always comes in first. As a gentleman, have standards which will not be compromised for just any woman with a pretty face. Be the type of nice guy that understand how to balance giving devotion love, respect and affection for a women only when it is earned. It is imperative that men look at women with much more scrutiny to truly comprehend what they are getting into before they start giving her the royal treatment. Do not settle for any woman who is not reciprocating the same amount of dignity and respect for you. Period. In the end, there is not one woman out there who would give the world to be with a nice confident gentleman. Know the difference between being a nice guy and just being plain wimpy or you will surely finish last.

Enojy

xxx