Friends, Money + Shades of Grey

Do not underestimate the phrase "You are the company you keep". In the past, every few months or so I would go on a hiatus for several weeks. Why? Because I had no money and couldn't afford to hang around my friends.

Now I'm sure you're wondering what friends have to do with money. Well think about it. Imagine going to the mall and seeing a group of friends walking together. Chances are they are wearing virtually the same thing, shopping at the same places and most likely have the same number of bags in their hands. Yet in actuality their incomes could be completely different! One friend could be making a comfortable cushy salary while the other makes the bare minimum. Regardless if person B is struggling, they know deep down that if they want to keep the company of that friend they're going to have to keep up with the spending too.

Let's admit it. Keeping friends is practically a second job (except you're trading money for time). One that can be expensive depending on who you like to hang with. This is a concept I knew very early on in life but didn't really bother giving much attention to. As long as I could take care of myself (and perhaps give my friend a little help too) than I was all set.

But alas, I ran into a few money woes or two. And that is when everything was not all set.

So here's are some of my conclusion to this issue with friends and money:

Be rich. When there's money in your pocket, there's money to entertain yourself hence you'll be able to keep up with the Jones'. Sounds shallow, yes. However I've learned first hand that people start to disappear when your pockets are empty. Don't believe me? I challenge you to 1 month of being penniless. I guarantee you'll be awakened.

Understand the golden rule. Remember that episode i Sex & the City when Miranda refused to lend Carrie money? That's because she knew that money and friends don't mix. I used to be an avid money lender. However when the tables turned I found my friends weren't so quick to offer a hand. Outraged? A little. But it's not because they weren't good friends, it's because they understood something I didn't. When we mix friendship loyalty with finances it gets pretty messy. Make that down right ugly.

Be upfront. When you're going out and about set a limit that everyone has to stick to. Even if one person is spending more than the other it sets off a chain reaction. If you're a big spender, you're essentially throwing your money in your friend's face. You may even unconsciously trigger your friend's uncontrollable spending habits (you may or may not care. It's your conscious not mine). Of course this is just a suggestion. If you have incredible discipline when it comes to money management, then ignore this advice.

If your pockets are collecting a bit of dust (or debt), please follow suit and take a break from your friends. Sure they may think you're hiding or being shady, but it's better than feeling shame at not having enough to keep up. You can opt to tell them you're broke (which is a bad idea in my opinion), but I can almost guarantee it won't make a difference.

Friends are great! But don't let them influence your finances unless it's adding more money in your pockets.

Enjoy
xxx