When I was younger I never ever ever! approached a man I had a crush on. As a matter of fact, I would act the exact opposite way: total indifference. When he would walk by me, I'd pretend I didn't even notice he already walked into the room twenty minutes ago through the back door wearing his favorite blue shirt with one bag strap over his left shoulder (Too creepy?). There's something so magical about having a crush. What makes it so amazing is that this guy can become our ultimate fantasy. In our mind he's emotionally available, well dress, romantic, poetic, yet is also this edgy bad boy, powerful, masculine, and all encompassing Greek godlike model. In our minds, he is perfection. And I guess this is the reason why I never revealed to my crushes (and trust me there were many), how I truly felt. I wanted him to remain my piece of perfection. I wanted him to remain madly enchanted by me. (Don't act like you haven't done this before!) But the new me started to wonder what if I revealed my interest to my crush.
There are so many things that could go terribly wrong in this scenario. First he could be a complete idiot as apposed to the articulate, intelligent, charming and witty man you envisioned. Secondly, he could already be taken. And finally third he may be flattered, but uninterested in you. (Ouch). All reasons why I have chosen to keep my crushes secrets. So to test out if these theories were true, I made the decision to reveal one of my crushes. After weeding out the presumably single ones I narrowed it down to the one I deemed most interesting of the bunch.
Side bar: during this little experiment, a number of my crushes magically decided to start relationships. I guess I should thank facebook for giving me the heads up.
So before the new year started, I sent him a short yet heart felt email (I accidental deleted his number from my phone, oops!). I can tell you it truly did feel amazing being able to get that off my shoulders. But as suspected absolutely nothing followed. And for some strange reason, I'm OK with that. Granted this did prove theory No. 3 correct, I have absolutely no regrets that I did it. In doing so I have diminished all desires for this person. I now no longer worry about what could have been, because I now know that all the flirting was probably just a ploy to get into my pants. People always ramble that God works in mysterious way, but I believe He knows exactly what He's doing! And He saved me from that person.
My advice to you is to go find a crush that you've been keeping secret and reveal it. In the end you will find that sometimes our best kept secrets are the ones that hold the power to transform our lives tremendously.
Enjoy
xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment