Dear John, Get Over It

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I say this with terms of endearment but as of late I've encountered one man too many who can't seem to let go of the past. We all know break ups go both ways. Women who decide to end the relationship in most case throw men for a loop. In essence she is stripping that man of the power he thinks he has over her and replacing it with an unbreakable enchantment. In situations like this, the man plays the role of the heart broken, tear jerking, obsessively begging stereotype usually associated with women post breakup. It is those first precious moments of heartache that I completely extend my sympathy for these men (after all having a broken heart really sucks). Unfortunately, after the initial gut wrenching stage my sympathy for them ends.

Fast forward years later and some of those men have yet to move on. He still calls her, sends her flowers, tries to date women like her in the hopes of being able to recreate that bliss she brought him. This man turns cold and bitter in most cases wreaking havoc on every woman who crosses his path. To anyone who ever received that infamous Dear John letter, voicemail, text, etc. my message to you is simple: get over it.

I hope this enrages you so much that it motivates you to start making changes. You are doing nothing but destroying yourself by holding onto the past. What we go through after a break up is an experience that really tests our character. Acknowledge that it renders the negative aspects of us. It shows our weakness and our dependency for companionship. (And do not doubt for a second that we are always dependent on someone else for something!) The longer we willingly endure the experience the more unpleasant we become to everyone including the very person we desperately want back in our lives. At the end of the day, that person is not worth you time, your love, nor your energy. Pining over them will not make them want you anymore today than yesterday. Your best bet is to live your life as if they don't exist and start a blissful love affair with yourself. As the saying goes: no one can love you better than you.

Enjoy
xxx