Is it Really Over?

She sat in my room barely breathing through tears. Each exhalation was followed by deep heavy sighs of sorrow. She hadn’t eaten in 12 hours. She hadn’t slept even longer. Her eyes carried heavy bags that only added to the obvious display of her pain. She was sad, depressed, and desperate for answers from the universe. She mumbled under muttered breaths that one could barely hear. I sat there unable to do anything but keep a supply of tissues in her palm. After 10 years, she and her husband’s rocky marriage seemed to have drawn its last straw. It was time for a divorce.

This was the scenario almost two years ago on a dreary Monday morning as she and I sat in my tiny room during a healing session after their last explosive argument.  I was disheartened to see her suffering when once upon a time she was blissful with happiness. Over ten years ago someone was helping her into a beautiful wedding gown as she anxiously awaited the moment to walk down an isle to and equally anxious groom.  And now, the “I do’s” are being replaced with “I want a divorce”.

When we were young it seemed so simple. We go into our first relationships with great expectation, thinking that it will last forever. What really happens is we experience that first break up which taints our image of relationships all together. The unfortunate truth is that most individuals in relationships walk around knowing that there is a possibility the relationship will end. They go into relationship with the mindset that if all fails, break up. Lately what’s been bothering me is the very fact that we all subscribe to this dogma.

I was once asked why so many marriages end in divorce. And with little thought, the answer was simple: It’s because we can.

Breakups, divorces, separation are all sneaky words for options. Since that first experienced breakup the lesson learned was that when things don’t work out, use your options. In other words, you are not obligated to stay with a person if they are not your idea of perfection. In our youth, it truly is just that simple to cut ties with someone who simply no longer shared our interests. But in our twenties and thirties, does this same philosophy apply? Just because breaking up is an option, is it really in our best interests to utilize it?

It may seem like this post is heading down the direction of taking a certain bias towards clinging (aka settling) with whatever current relationship you are in, my point really is challenging the idea of breaking up. What if breaking up were not an option?

Where Did Time Go?

It seems like only yesterday that I logged onto Blogger and began my first post. Over 5000 views later I'm now a year older, a year wiser, and can proudly call myself an official blogger. Four days ago I was at work in a chaotic mess when suddenly I realised the source of all the franticness was for the upcoming highly anticipated celebration of a New Year.

Time has certainly flown by without my knowledge. But I realised something amazing in that moment of epiphany. I realised that I have no longer  become a slave to time. At least not in the traditional sense.

Back in 2010 when I started reading The Secret, I learned that in order to be at one with the universe, we must recognize and accept that time does not really exist. How many times have you gone to work and started working on a project only to look up at the time and realize that 5 hours already have gone by? How many times have you started a boring task and find out that only 5 minutes of your long day have past by? I'm sure one or another of these situations have happened to you. They do to all of us.

As members of this society we value time because it affords us an opportunity to be, do and live life to our liking. Time is as precious as money and yet there are moments in our lives where time has escaped us, or even worse, has been wasted.

Unlike many others, I made a decision not to make a new years resolution. My decision was based mostly on the fact that I found it an absolute waste to devote such precious "time" to something I probably was not going to uphold. Most importantly it was based on the fact that this New Year meant more to me than empty promises written on a piece of paper. This new year is a gift of time. It is the most lavish present given to me and I want to appreciate it by utilizing every moment for what it is.

Today we have all been given a possible 300+ days to live an extraordinary life. The life we've always wanted. The life we've always prayed for. So rather than focus on counting down goals day by day, focus on striving towards your inner happiness and you will find you have all the time in the world to do whatever it is your heart desires.

Enjoy
xxx